Thread:CureHibiki/@comment-28168603-20180924191519/@comment-28168603-20180928002006

I’ll take you at your word and offer what help I can. Let me start by explaining that last line. You should have mixed feelings about it. I meant it both as sincere advise and as a “gotcha”. I’m pretty sure it’s a quote from some great philosopher and know I first heard it in the U.S. Army’s primary leadership school. It was my childish response to your “Where is the respect” forum, which in all honesty, is quite condescending and downright biting.

This leads to the only specific advise I can offer. When attempting to rally your troops you can’t dismiss them as fools and then expect them to succeed. Your plea for better organization and cooperation is lost in a fog of insults. Your first paragraph refers to contributors as “...little 12 year olds who think they own the damn internet.” You go on to ask if they are “rude little spoiled brats”, then call them, “lazy slobs” twice and throw in a “mean brats”  before offering the veiled insult, “...as if we are the youngsters here”. In one paragraph! I’ve published a few short stories, a couple dozen poems and two state “Safety Policies and Practices” books, and I had to really study your “respect” forum to comprehend the actual message. It would have been better to bash on the situation, not the individuals. Offer a means to resolution. And make following your lead a path to greatness. Something like, “I know we’ve had a lot of really crappy edits lately, but those of us who are truly passionate for our wiki can pull together and repair the damage. Please, help me in building our wiki into the accurate, complete and easy to use wiki it should be.” I realize you weren't referring to everybody, but that’s not entirely clear and people tend to take things for the worst. In contrast, saying “those of us who are truly passionate” offers everyone an out. I could be reading that thinking to myself, “that edit I made about how stupid that character’s line was is what she’s talking about”, but deny it by changing my approach in the future. In a more general sense regarding your wiki, I think you should appoint some moderators and admins. Pretty Cure has more than twice as many pages as all three of the wikis I manage combined, and I have 3 or 4 admins on each. I think you need a larger active staff. You’ll have to look at a lot of user’s contributions and identify those who are sincere, dedicated and talented enough, and share your idea of how to go. It will probably take weeks of effort, but it seems you need the staff.

As for stress, the fact that there’s an entire industry of “how to live stress free” books and seminars should tell you how complicated that is. Stress will make you old before your time, and eventually kill you. I have many suggestions and tips though. Self hypnosis. Create in your mind a mirror that reflects only the best version of yourself. Create a picture of what you would look like without stress. Sit some place comfortable, regulate your breathing taking long full breathes at a comfortable rate. Once you have a comfortable rate focus on maintaining it like it was a song. After managing that, imagine seeing yourself in the mirror, stress free. Your mind will stray, when you realize it regroup your thoughts and start over. Do it for 15-20 minutes a day. When you’re sure you've conquered your stress, you can stop or substitute something else you’d like to change. Get a copy of Sun Tzu, “The Art of War”, read it, keep it and refer to it often. Most self help books are actually rewritten versions of it to fit their own title subject. As time goes by you’ll see what I mean. Spend some time reading, actual ink and paper I mean, every day. Learn to play an instrument and practice every day. (if you can’t afford an instrument, study voice on line and learn your range, projection, intonation and so forth) Spend time out side and disconnected from electronic distractions, everyday. Exercise every day. Stay young at heart. Stop and smell the roses. Take time to notice simple things and appreciate them. Accept the things you can’t control. Expect disaster, cherish success. I could go on forever with axioms and idioms. When ever you hear one you like, remember it and repeat it to yourself from time to time. Especially ones you don’t abide but want to. And double especially for the ones that define something you admire about someone else. Congratulate yourself for the small personal victories. For example, you could have totally stressed out over my last reply, call me a kook and block me, but you didn’t.

I don’t think any one speech or letter can change a person’s disposition unless they’re already at some tipping point. And it would be difficult to just overnight implement all the things I have suggested here. I have at least planted a seed that may one day be useful. I should point out, I’m 60 years old, own a house and a bunch of cars, I’m a war veteran and a laureate poet. I’ve made some money writing and as a musician but my main vocation is surveying. I’m also a sponsored skateboarder (I’m pretty good proof safety gear works) and snowboarder who loves cartoons. When I was 18 I was scared to death about what I would do with my life. Even after surviving the Army I worried about what I was going to do with myself. I do remember one day when I was in my mid 20’s, sitting and worrying about a pretty high car repair bill that came up about the same time rent was due. I suddenly realized two things, first, worrying won’t help, and actually makes things worse. And two, which ever bill I blew off, the sun would still rise and I would wake up and go on with life. As simple as it is, that was a pivotal moment in my life. I really changed a lot in that few seconds. Looking back, I think stressing out over things is just part of how we find our way.